September 14, 2015 by positivelypeachie
All three of my nephews are rambunctious, masculine ,”typical” boys. They love noise, dirt, trucks, bugs, body noises, poop, and wrestling. They like spiderman and ninja turtles…and my oldest nephew once unofficially changed his name to “Tony Stark” and would answer to nothing else for over a week. I love them exactly as they are, even in all of their dirty, loud, boyness. However, if one of them were ever to tell me they were gay, transgender, bisexual, or anything else – I would be still love them exactly as they are. It’s more important to me that they are kind and giving and considerate – and they are all three of those things.
I recently bought Middle Boy a toque that he REALLY REALLY wanted – it was an Olaf toque and he was SO excited to have it. He wears it everywhere right now, and loves it. It also happens to be pink – Middle Boy is 3, and the pink doesn’t bother him one bit.
Imagine my surprise and complete disappointment when his biggest bullies have ended up being his own grandparents, and his aunt/uncle. Their constant remarks about how it’s a “girls” hat, and he looks silly in it, gnaw away at me and more than once I’ve snapped at them. They’re pestering him in an attempt to make him take it off which, as far as I am concerned, is bullying!
I finally had it yesterday and told them bluntly that the COLOUR of his hat does not remove his penis or testicles or the testosterone surging through his veins so get over it. It actually shut them up, but I don’t know how long for.
It angers me because it’s JUST a colour. Colours are changeable, and unimportant and absolutely do not define someone. And even if they did, even if he is/became everything that they’re afraid of when they see their boy in a pink toque, I wouldn’t mind because I love him exactly as he is. And his mom and dad wouldn’t mind because they love him as he is. And most of his friends wouldn’t mind because THEY love him as he is. It’s too bad his grandparents and one aunt/uncle can’t do that too …
Their words, no matter how small, help to shape this boy into the adult he will become. I would much rather he become a kind, friendly and generous person who may or may not like the colour pink, than a resentful, bitter and judgmental person who may or may not like the colour pink. Because the fact that he liked the colour pink when he was 3 won’t ever change – but the person he is going to become is changing every second of every day, and they had better get over this pink hat soon or it’s going to have an impact on his life that he may not forget.
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