A Welcome Distraction/Biggest Waste of a Night EVAAARRRRR

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July 7, 2015 by positivelypeachie

So I got two new chicks – Penny and Ella (nephew named her). Since they are smaller than my current chicks, I built them some neat little hides for the coop and the run – so they had somewhere safe they could go if the bigger chicks were being bullies (which is normal when you integrate new chicks into a flock). I put food and water in the hides so they would have sustenance if they were in there a long time.

I put the hides into the coop and run last night. I was so proud of how well they turned out. I wanted Penny and Ella to know they could go inside, so I picked Penny up and started to put her inside one when jerk Chops came running up to us barking. Penny panicked and flew (this particular breed are REALLY good fliers) right outside the coop and landed a foot or so from the door. I started to slowly walk up to her to grab her when the Fuzz came flying over and chased her into the base of a lilac tree we have that is, literally, 8 feet in diameter filled with sprouts and branches and not at all possible for a human to walk through without cutting a path. The dogs followed her in, and I managed to call them off and tie them up.

Exasperated and worried she would become a foxes dinner – I built a trap with food and water in it, right behind the coop, expecting she would come back that way because she genuinely wants to be with the chicks. I was right and she did, so I was sure I’d catch her. She walked into the trap, ate all of the food, and just as I was swooping in for capture she WALKED OUT of the trap. Uhh. Clearly I misjudged her size when I built it and thought she was bigger than she was…so all I really did was make a cool walkway for her leading up to her food. Damnit.

At this point, it was officially five million degrees outside, I was sweating buckets and the sun was beaming down on me hard. The dogs were going nuts on their leashes wanting to get free and chase the chicken. I was trying to crawl into the lilac tree (to no avail, I couldn’t fit without impaling myself). Hubby arrived home at this time to see my butt sticking out of the tree, sweat dripping down my legs and butt sweat stains staring him right in the face. One of my finer moments – I’m sure he’s never been more in love with me.

He saw how exasperated and overheated I was and persuaded me to go inside (into the a/c) and cool down for a few minutes. I’m glad he did because I think I was on the break of heat exhaustion – seriously, I have never been more sweaty in my life (I know, sexy) and I run every day…so that’s saying something.

Anyway we went back out a while later when it had cooled down, and Penny had time to calm down a bit, and actually managed to catch her fairly swiftly (What the hell, is he like a chicken whisperer??). I was super relieved to have her back, and I was excited to show her the hides I’d made her. As soon as I had her little golden fluff in my hand, all was forgotten and she was my favourite baby hen again.

I was in a state of euphoria when I opened up the coop to show her the new hides. That was when I discovered, much to my horror, that while I’d been outside almost dying trying to catch Penny, the older chicks had set about destroying the hides so they could get inside to the feed (they have their own feed). The little buggers completely destroyed them, so Penny and Ella never even got to see the damn things. A whole entire evening of my time and effort for nothing…NOTHING!

If I had of known that would happen (or even that chicks can peck through something that strong) I would never have bothered, which means I wouldn’t have lost Penny, and wouldn’t have had to find her, and wouldn’t be drowning in my own pool of sweat on the hottest and most humid day of the whole year and I wouldn’t be turning my husband on left, right and center with my butt sweat marks. Biggest waste of a night EVARRR!

But then, I guess, I wouldn’t have this story to share, or been able to skip the gym last night because this girl got her workout chasing a chicken… and I wouldn’t have enjoyed the fact that today, I can see the humour in this whole thing.

P.S: Chicks and dogs are all happy and well today.

P.P.S: Every part of me hurts from crawling around on the ground trying to chase the chicks.

P.P.P.S: What do you do for a butt sweat rash? I’m asking for a friend. (Just kidding, I don’t have a rash from it.)

* No chicks or dogs were harmed in the making of this nightmare adventure (although I considered it).