#microblogmonday – Coming out of the closet to an empty room
10March 23, 2015 by positivelypeachie
I do not talk about our inability to have kids. My parents don’t even know the details. I’m just not that kind of person (yet I can share with you ladies!). It’s also kind of because my family does not understand these things, and is super ridiculously fertile.
Anyway I decided to come out of the closet this past weekend since everyone assaults me with questions of when I’m getting on the “kid wagon”. I summoned courage I didn’t know I had and responded that we’d been trying to get on the kid wagon for almost 5 years, but were unfortunately struggling with infertility and we didn’t know how long it would take to get lucky.
Cue crickets.
I shit you not…there was not one single word spoken in response to that. There was awkward shifting, coughing and finally someone moved onto a new topic. I was so embarassed – all I could think was “Holy shit someone dig me a hole so I can bury myself now”….
So YAY I finally come out of the closet….to bad it was to an empty room (ouch). I’d be lying if I didn’t say I cried, and then drank, and then cried and drank when I got home that night.
A Little Bit More 
I’m so sorry that this was your experience, that you were not supported by your family. My hope is that they were so shocked that they didn’t know what to say, and that their responses will come soon.
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I am so sorry that your family didn’t know what to say. I hope they will support you soon but I know that’s not always a sure thing either. So I’m sending you love and light and lots of virtual hugs
Stopping in from ICLW
#21
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oh my goodness, how terrible! I’m so sorry you got this response. I am very thankful that I have had far more positive responses then negative. Please don’t let this deter you from opening up again. Once you do find that support in real life it is incredibly helpful. Until then, there are so many of us here rooting for you! Hugs!
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I’m so sorry that happened. I’d like to say I can’t believe a single soul didn’t speak, but I’ve been in that situation too often to know better. Just once I wish someone would say something, anything to show they care and not just brush it under the rug.
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That’s just awful. I’m so sorry that no one said something kind to you.
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Ouch! I am so sorry that you went through that. That you finally gave them the words and they dropped them on the floor.
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Wow, they couldn’t even a mumble a simple “Sorry to hear that”? or a “how are you coping with that?”?
That’s sad.
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Oh goodness, that’s awful! Cheers for you that you found the courage to do it – I know that it isn’t easy. There was no reason you should have been embarrassed, unless you were embarrassed for them! Or BY them?
I’m hoping that maybe you’ll get some individual approaches from people there, once they’ve had a chance to think about their shameful reactions to the answer to a question that was asked of you. Argh. People really are terrible at dealing with other people’s difficulties.
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Coming out like that is a huge thing. You did something hard. Congratulations, it might have felt horrendous but you don’t have to do that again. Next time you mention it you will be differently prepared. Whenever I mention my IF I still feel as if I’m doing something daring, after years. If nothing else, hopefully, now you’ve said it to those people, they might behave a little differently around you (i.e., get off your back). Well done and I’m sorry they were rubbish, you weren’t though 🙂
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[…] worried I’m wrong about her and I don’t want to fall flat on my face like I did last time I tried to […]
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